This Banking Heir Who Dropped $80K To Make Out With Elizabeth Hurley Is A Gigantic Walking Vagina

DM – If you’re the son of a billionaire banker, dropping £50,000 on a passionate kiss with Elizabeth Hurley is no problem. Explaining it away to your wife, however, may prove a little more challenging. Julian Bharti, 27, showed no sign of worrying about that, though, when he successfully bid for a kiss with the 49-year-old British actress at Elton John’s annual ball near Windsor last night. Standing up to claim his prize, the married father of three took to his task with gusto, clasping Hurley close to him and kissing her full on the mouth to the cheers of the watching celebrity crowd.

First things first, if you’re the heir to billions and are married with 3 little shits running around by age 27, you deserve a first class ticket to Shutter Island. This guy’s in the prime of his life and has access to unlimited money. You have to be certified batshit to not live life like Dan Blitzerian on even more roids. With great power comes great responsibility and if he doesn’t want to be liable then I’ll take his life off his hands. His entire existence should be based on yachts and balcuzzi’s.

But I don’t care if you’re married or if $80K is ashtray money. What is with the borderline hoverhand and the other mitt in the pocket? You drop that kind of cash to hot mouth it with one of the greatest dimes of all-time, you at least go for the kill with two hands on those hams. Palm those cheeks for dear life until a cattle prod is needed for your release. For $80 I would at least like the nipple to make an appearance, for 1000x that amount it should be declared open season on the body. Anything less would be uncivilized.

Schoolgirl and Lawyer outfits FTW. Have mercy. And yes, Bedazzled is an underrated flick: